January 2011
54 posts
“The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.”
– Chuck Palahniuk
“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems...”
– Harriet Beecher Stowe
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become...”
– John Quincy Adams
Anonymous asked: How do you get over someone you can't have, when they're still in your life and you don't want to lose them?
To you
Our bellies breathing into each other. Jokes told. Breath felt. Your voice in the morning. My lips on your ear
Anonymous asked: I went out with a really close friend over the summer.
Now we were both fond of eachother, but it never got anywhere because
his job got in the way.
I see him a couple times a month (when hes not working) and we hang out.
I have been doing good with getting rid of any feelings for him. Most recently though, we hung out, movies park and we went to go eat, and well it...
Now we were both fond of eachother, but it never got anywhere because
his job got in the way.
I see him a couple times a month (when hes not working) and we hang out.
I have been doing good with getting rid of any feelings for him. Most recently though, we hung out, movies park and we went to go eat, and well it...
rayann-schuck asked: I don't need advice. I just want to ask questions.
Once a year, when I can afford it, I like to drink Heineken. Any other time I drink Bud Light. What is Charlie's beer of choice?
Once a year, when I can afford it, I like to drink Heineken. Any other time I drink Bud Light. What is Charlie's beer of choice?
failfox asked: Manly drinks?
Not alcohol specifically, just in general.
Not alcohol specifically, just in general.
katiewashere asked: Why are we both sitting at home on a chilly Friday night?
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget...”
– Maya Angelou
questions? →
Anonymous asked: Why do some males never have respect for females? I work in a technology store, and while I most probably know more about all the gadgets and software, men always seem to want to talk to other men about this stuff.
How should I react to this? In fact, I had a man caress my arm today and I was extremely creeped out.
How should I react to this? In fact, I had a man caress my arm today and I was extremely creeped out.
Anonymous asked: the question with the creepy 32 year old being asked and answered...have you ever seen someone who could legitimately be considered jailbait?
Anonymous asked: the question with the creepy 32 year old being asked and answered...have you ever seen someone who could legitimately be considered jailbait?
lloylddaniels-deactivated201102 asked: What should I get my mom for her birthday? She is a spoiled NYer.
mynameisabi asked: What colour and size of towel is most manly?
mynameisabi asked: What colour and size of towel is most manly?
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with...”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Anonymous asked: if you don't really know who you are how can you solve that? i feel so lost all the time and i don't know what to do :/
Anonymous asked: What is the best way to woo someone on the internet? (hint: I am a girl and I would like to woo a College Humor nerd.)
Anonymous asked: What is the best way to woo someone on the internet? (hint: I am a girl and I would like to woo a College Humor nerd.)
Anonymous asked: I'm an older guy, and I fell in love with a girl who is 17 years old. I am 32, and I'm not sure if this is right. Advice? She loves me back, and I'm going to wait for her.
Anonymous asked: I'm an older guy, and I fell in love with a girl who is 17 years old. I am 32, and I'm not sure if this is right. Advice? She loves me back, and I'm going to wait for her.
goldentemples asked: Which category would you prefer for my recommendation this week?
Comedian?
Personality?
Epicenter of manliness?
Your choice.
Comedian?
Personality?
Epicenter of manliness?
Your choice.
Anonymous asked: How big of an age gap do you think is TOO big? I kind of have a crush on my friend's brother. He's 10 years older than me. I'm 25. We have a lot in common and we talk a lot. But everyone is telling me the age difference is too much and I shouldn't pursue it. Thoughts?
Anonymous asked: How big of an age gap do you think is TOO big? I kind of have a crush on my friend's brother. He's 10 years older than me. I'm 25. We have a lot in common and we talk a lot. But everyone is telling me the age difference is too much and I shouldn't pursue it. Thoughts?
Anonymous asked: How many MC's must get dissed?
Anonymous asked: Do you ask your Mother for advice and if so, do you take it??
Bar Chat Millionaire
GIRL: The worst thing? Uhhh... Probably cheating on my ex-boyfriend.
ME: Ouch.
GIRL: And you?
ME: Worst thing I ever did?
GIRL: Mmm Hmm.
ME: That's a tough one.
GIRL: C'mon!
ME: I shouldn't... Yeah, I don't want to say.
GIRL: Wait. No... You have to! I did mine, so you have to...
ME: I don't know...
GIRL: Spill it!
ME: Eh... If you say so...
GIRL: Eeeee! Now I can't wait.
ME: I drew all over my grandma with black magic marker.
GIRL: What? When she was sleeping?
ME: No. Dead.
(Silence)
GIRL: Excuse me?
ME: She was dead.
(Silence)
GIRL: What the fu... Stop. Don't even.
(Silence)
GIRL: That is sick, Who would?... That is. Fucked. Up. Jesus, I don't feel so bad about mine now.
ME: I dunno. Yours seems pretty bad.
GIRL: What. No. Dude. No. You sharpie'd your dead grandma.
ME: Well, you cheated.
GIRL: No. Please-Tell me how me cheating on my boyfriend is worse than you desecrating your grandma's corpse?
ME: Because you really did yours.
Bar Chat Millionaire
GIRL: The worst thing? Uhhh... Probably cheating on my ex-boyfriend.
ME: Ouch.
GIRL: And you?
ME: Worst thing I ever did?
GIRL: Mmm Hmm.
ME: That's a tough one.
GIRL: C'mon!
ME: I shouldn't... Yeah, I don't want to say.
GIRL: Wait. No... You have to! I did mine, so you have to...
ME: I don't know...
GIRL: Spill it!
ME: Eh... If you say so...
GIRL: Eeeee! Now I can't wait.
ME: I drew all over my grandma with black magic marker.
GIRL: What? When she was sleeping?
ME: No. Dead.
(Silence)
GIRL: Excuse me?
ME: She was dead.
(Silence)
GIRL: What the fu... Stop. Don't even.
(Silence)
GIRL: That is sick, Who would?... That is. Fucked. Up. Jesus, I don't feel so bad about mine now.
ME: I dunno. Yours seems pretty bad.
GIRL: What. No. Dude. No. You sharpie'd your dead grandma.
ME: Well, you cheated.
GIRL: No. Please-Tell me how me cheating on my boyfriend is worse than you desecrating your grandma's corpse?
ME: You really did yours.
Bar Chat of the Lambs
GIRL: Hah... You drink alone a lot?
ME: Meh. No. Just too noisy at my place.
GIRL: Neighbors are dicks?
ME: No. Ghosts.
GIRL: Excuse me?
ME: Damn ghosts. My apartment is haunted.
GIRL: It's what? Haunted. Are you a weirdo? What?
ME: I know it sounds nuts, seriously, I know. But I'm not kidding. I just want to be in bed. But they're knocking things around. And the whispering. I can't sleep.
GIRL: I sort of believe in that sort of thing but... You don't seem drunk, I'll give you that. It's fascinating anyway. If you are fucking with me, I'll kill you.
ME: Ghosts are fucking with me, can't kill them. They already dead.
GIRL: Like... What? What do they do? Please explain.
ME: Well, it starts with a clicking. And then a banging. Sounds like it's in my wall. Like the dead are in my wall.
GIRL: Okay...
ME: And then there's groaning and voices.
GIRL: What do they say?
ME: I can't tell, like I said, it's behind the wall.
GIRL: Just sounds like your neighbors are having sex.
ME: Nah, man. My neighbors aren't ghosts.
GIRL: That's not what... What?
Bar Chat Reloaded
GIRL: Where you from?
ME: Glasgow.
GIRL: Where?
ME: Scotland. Glasgow, Scotland.
GIRL: Oh wow. Why don't you have an accent?
ME: I do. I'm just doing my American one right now.
GIRL: Really? If you're serious, you do it really really well. It sounds real. Are you being serious?
ME: Aye.
(Silence)
ME: I mean yes.
GIRL: But Scottish accents are hot. Do your Scottish accent!
ME: Nah.
GIRL: Awww, why?
ME: Cause it took me forever to get my American one down.
GIRL: Why would you want an American accent?
ME: To impress scottish chicks.
GIRL: But I'm not scottish.
ME: Aye.
(Awkward silence)
ME: I mean yes.
Anonymous asked: if you don't really know who you are how can you solve that? i feel so lost all the time and i don't know what to do :/
Lord of the Bar Chat
ME: Well tomorrow i get my first leg transplant. First fake leg for this guy. Scary.
SHE: I'm sorry what? Is this for your acting class?
ME: What lord no. its for life. I've been walking on a peg for years now. It sucks. Hurts so much. Tomorrow i get a viable prosthetic.
SHE: But you don't even hop. So I don't buy it.
ME: I do--stop--I've shown you. I don't hop--I limp a bit. You noticed that the first time we hung out, but i told you it was from running.
SHE: Yeeees but I thought your leg was sore. I still don't buy it.
ME: What? Are you serious?
SHE: YES I am serious! I do not buy it.
ME: I thought i let you knock on it. That wasn't you??
SHE: Uhhh. That was your other blond friend named Christina. Clearly. I'm kind of oblivious, but I think I'd remember that
ME: Weird.
SHE: Well, that IS scary. What exactly do they do?
ME: They string the implement to my stump.
SHE: Dude you can't be serious
ME: Well in so many words.
SHE: Are you seriously not pulling my leg? Pun intended.
ME: There was very little compassion in that remark
thursdaythe12th asked: Hi Charlie, I have a man problem, the details of which are in this post I made. If its too long to read, I understand, but after I wrote it, I realized just the person to turn to to ask for help, and if you have a sec, I would appreciate it. Thanks.
http://rocketgizmo.tumblr.com/post/2652847624/i-have-a-serious-issue-all-the-men-in-my-life-are
http://rocketgizmo.tumblr.com/post/2652847624/i-have-a-serious-issue-all-the-men-in-my-life-are
butterflyzz asked: Sorry for the earlier boring 'tumblr blog based' question, I needed help, turned to my screen and there you were offering advice! It will never happen again....
However, on a personal note I can't sleep, I have become nocturnal, kebabs are becoming my life, I need help Charle!!!
However, on a personal note I can't sleep, I have become nocturnal, kebabs are becoming my life, I need help Charle!!!
fredbabyblog asked: I can't sleep, I've become nocturnal, tumblr is becoming too adictive, I need help Charlie!!!!!!!!!
butterflyzz asked: HOW THE HELL DO I GET MY TRACKED TAGS TO WORK.....?
(sorry didn't mean that as aggressively as it looks! :D)
(sorry didn't mean that as aggressively as it looks! :D)
Anonymous asked: I'm in love with a much older rich married man who's retiring next month. He's in love w me too and hates his bitch wife. What do rich guys do when they retire?
Anonymous asked: I'm in love with a much older rich married man who's retiring next month. He's in love w me too and hates his bitch wife. What do rich guys do when they retire?
Anonymous asked: what's the best way to get over a broken heart?
(knowing that dating someone else is off the table, because nobody else will give you a chance)
(knowing that dating someone else is off the table, because nobody else will give you a chance)
djbowlesdjbowles asked: I really love the responses you give back and I actually take note of them!
I'm not sure if this has been asked before, but what to you is something people should have in their lives in order to be "successful"?
I'm not sure if this has been asked before, but what to you is something people should have in their lives in order to be "successful"?
djbowlesdjbowles asked: I really love the responses you give back and I actually take note of them!
I'm not sure if this has been asked before, but what to you is something people should have in their lives in order to be "successful"?
I'm not sure if this has been asked before, but what to you is something people should have in their lives in order to be "successful"?
leemalonetv asked: Hey Charlie, big fan of your tumblr and your teachings. Hope you had a good Christmas.
People always ask you questions on here so I thought I'd give it a try. Do you think it's possible for somebody to be "ready" to get into relationships/dating/whatever? As in, if you try and get into the dating scene while you're head is cluttered with money problems,...
People always ask you questions on here so I thought I'd give it a try. Do you think it's possible for somebody to be "ready" to get into relationships/dating/whatever? As in, if you try and get into the dating scene while you're head is cluttered with money problems,...
leemalonetv asked: Hey Charlie, big fan of your tumblr and your teachings. Hope you had a good Christmas.
People always ask you questions on here so I thought I'd give it a try. Do you think it's possible for somebody to be "ready" to get into relationships/dating/whatever? As in, if you try and get into the dating scene while you're head is cluttered with money problems,...
People always ask you questions on here so I thought I'd give it a try. Do you think it's possible for somebody to be "ready" to get into relationships/dating/whatever? As in, if you try and get into the dating scene while you're head is cluttered with money problems,...
Anonymous asked: You're apparently the love guru or something, so I have a question.
Do you think you can develop feelings for someone you've never actually met? Say you met someone in a chat room and you exchange information and start talking on a regular basis. You share your secrets, your dreams, everything. This is the person you immediately want to tell when you have good news. This...
Do you think you can develop feelings for someone you've never actually met? Say you met someone in a chat room and you exchange information and start talking on a regular basis. You share your secrets, your dreams, everything. This is the person you immediately want to tell when you have good news. This...
Anonymous asked: where does the name hatstamp come from?
failfox asked: I think a video of you giving manly advice would be an interesting watch.